A month ago, I drove out into the desert and started a brand new adventure in Midland, Texas. With the exception of a few short days in the area over Thanksgiving, I’d never been to the area.
I’ve done that before. I’ve picked up and moved far away with lots of doubts and dreams keeping me afloat.
But I’ve always done it alone. This time, I have Boyfriend.
You’d think it would be harder to move and settle in all by myself with no one but the cat and dog to keep me company, but I’m finding that’s not true. I still have moments (or days) of sadness, homesickness for I’m-not-exactly-sure-where and ennui.
Last weekend was a low. We were having a lazy weekend. Neither of us were particularly in the mood to do much more than sit around watching TV (me) and playing video games (him). But on Sunday night, my emotional build up finally flooded free. It was all too much. Too much sitting around, too much trying to feel at home, too much newness. Just too much.
After I calmed down a little, I started thinking and journaling about what I was feeling, and I remembered my word for 2015: Centered.
When I’m looking back on this year, what do I want to remember? I sure as hell don’t want to remember sitting around watching television on a beautiful Sunday while the world spins underneath my bum. I don’t want to space out and lose a day or a weekend.
I want to be centered, to take adventures and explore and have fun. I want to try new things and be playful with my life. I want to be healthy, read books, go on walks with the dog, play with the cat, become debt free, read more books, learn about myself, write, take pictures just for fun because it’s not part of my job anymore and generally enjoy my life.
That’s not too much to ask, is it? I sure don’t think so.