At the beginning of 2015, just like I have for the past couple years, I chose a Word for the year. I put a lot of thought into it, and I settled on Centered. It was supposed to be a way to calm life down a little bit after so much running around for the past few years, and especially after the intensity of the end of 2014. Between finding a new job, traveling for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then moving, I was exhausted.
But over the past three months, I haven’t really internalized Centered the way I internalized Embrace and Connect. It hasn’t changed my life perspective, and I’ve made no different decisions than if my word for the year was It or The.
Yesterday, I was contemplating a few things, journaling about some inner turmoil (the usual Tuesday drivel), and I started to realize that by trying to stay Centered, I’m also living a very conservative life. I’m holding back in ways I don’t appreciate.
I find myself feeling jealous of people who seem to live a carefree, throw-caution-to-the-wind life. And I know I’ll never be that way–I like plans and step-by-step processes. However, when I get too caught up in my plans, I start to act from a place of fear. What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if things change too much? What if they never change?
But what if I wasn’t afraid?
A million things came to mind, all of them well within my reach. I’m still exploring this idea, figuring out what it means in a daily life kind of way. (I don’t really want to jump out of an airplane anytime soon.) And although being Centered is important, I need to practice being Fearless right now–Fearless in my relationships, in my work, in my writing and photography, in my goals and dreams. There’s no holding back.
I’ve got this one life. That’s it. There’s no second chance, no do-over if I mess it up.
So let’s do this. Let’s be fearless and brave and unashamed of any of it. What’s the worst that can happen?